Hunger is a process that’s always present, always running in the background, only occasionally rising into consciousness. It’s more like a mood. When it slowly rises or eases back down, even when it’s beneath consciousness, […]
At the beginning of the year, a mere 12 days ago, I found myself with an abundance of goals. I’m not usually much for resolutions, but this year I found myself so ready for change. […]
I’m still drinking tea every morning and last weekend, I relistened to that podcast. I might listen to it again this weekend. It speaks to me. There are so many concepts that stick in my […]
Last weekend, I fell down the blog rabbit hole. It may not look like much is different on the outside, but for me, every tweak to this website is a learning experience. Posts can take hours, between the photo editing, uploading, and tagging, and the post writing and reading and re-reading…
I was going to tell you all about the new way I’m eating. And I want to. But as I was trying to organize the ideas on the page, I realized something…
I’ve been here before. In 2011. And again in 2012. And that’s frustrating.
As I reflect over the past three years, here’s the cycle I seem to be stuck in: I hit a weight I’m unhappy with. I do Weight Watchers until I hit a more comfortable weight. I go off the plan in favor of a diet/lifestyle that’s more in line with my ideas about health and nutrition (and one that doesn’t require me to be glued to my phone at meals). I get off track. I gain weight. I start again.
And that’s frustrating. Especially because weight loss isn’t my primary goal. My goal is to internalize habits that will fuel my health, with the expectation that my weight (whatever it is) will be a reflection of that good health. I see now that I have completely failed in that goal.
Changing your behavior is hard, especially around eating. (Most of my patients would agree.) I actually relate it to literally navigating a route. I find that when I have a GPS in my car (as I have for oh… not even a week – haha), I don’t actually learn where I’m going. I just follow the directions and somehow I end up where I wanted to be. But when I am using written (static) directions and peering at every street sign along the way, I engage more with the process. In one or two trips, I’ve memorized the route because I can visualize and understand it. And maybe that’s a big reason why I’ve failed to change my habits after Weight Watchers.
Anyway, I’m hoping this latest attempt will help me make real change, not just be another arc in the cycle.
I had to say goodbye to an old friend yesterday…
But I made a new one in the process.
Goodbye Blue, hello Sandy!
If you’re wondering what I’m up to lately… well it’s mostly work. I tend to work long hours because I’m still learning. I’ve also had some complicated and sad patients lately that leave me emotionally drained. Once I get home, it’s difficult for me to find the energy for much of anything besides making dinner, petting Kitty, and catching up on a TV show or two.
I do consistently make dinner though, with the help of this adorable chalkboard I got from Zulily. I plan all the meals for the week and do the grocery shopping on Sundays. On my commute home, I tell Mr. B to turn on the oven or start chopping something. There’s no way I would be able to cook even half as much if I didn’t do this kind of planning! It’s been a total lifesaver.
I’ve also been singing with my a cappella group every week, meeting with my Cooking Club once a month, working on some little projects at home, and enjoying a few fun activities with Mr. B. If you’re interested in more frequent updates, I’ve been doing this #photoaday thing on Instagram. The plan is to post one picture on Instagram every day for a year. So far, I’ve been having a lot of fun finding images to share. Check it out!
A few weeks ago, it was Mr. B’s birthday, and it was quite chocolate filled! I took him out to Max Brenner for dinner fondue. Plus there were those decadent leftover truffles I made him […]