I drank tea this morning, for the first time in a while. I sat outside on my steps, the cool wind brushing against my arms, drawing goosebumps, while my heart and mind were warmed by a glass of Pu’erh.
I haven’t been drinking tea because… It’s not a good rationale really, but I’ve traded my tea time for morning runs. I want to run a half marathon. More specifically, a Disney half marathon. So I signed up for this one in February.
Since the first glimpse of spring, I have found myself puzzling and muddling about my health and fitness. Again. I found myself feeling slow when I wanted to feel fast, weak when I wanted to feel strong. I began seeking sustainable change. This is my usual cycle and I suppose I’m back on the upswing.
Over the past few months, I’ve been working with a nutrition counselor to figure out how to fit the vision of my healthier self into my life. I am hoping that working with a real person will help me in a way that following someone else’s plan never has.
I could be discouraged by all the times that I have tried and all the things that I still am not. But I think the Zen perspective is that cycles are a natural part of life and rather than resist them, you should simply be present in them, and know that the journey is the way. So I accept that each effort and experience has contributed to who I am right now. And as long as this tide pulls me, I’ll move with it.
So far, I feel good. And more importantly, I am figuring out what makes me feel good. I am figuring out what makes me feel good. And I’m hoping that will prove to be a stronger motivation than the things that don’t.