Today I was checking out a new blog called Healthy & Sane.  It’s the cooking and eating adventures of a Bostonian who has given up on dieting.  I love that she has tried making a lot of new things I want to make and eats at a lot of places I’d like to eat.  But more importantly, I too would love to not be on a diet.

I’ve never been a big dieter and I haven’t had major problems with body image like many of the “healthy lifestyle” bloggers I see, but my weight did increase slowly and steadily through college and at a certain weight, I decided that I would be happier and feel better if I put more effort into being healthier.  That’s why, at the beginning of this year, I joined Weight Watchers.

I like the structure of Weight Watchers and the freedom to eat anything.  I love that I can track my eating right away on my phone and input my own recipes to find out their points value.  It’s great that I eat a lot more fruits and vegetables now and that I’ve lost about 25 pounds.  I feel healthier and better for the most part, but I hate that I am dependent on a diet company to monitor myself.  I hate that I can’t do it on my own.

I love food and I may not always make perfect choices, but I think the things that actually cause my weight gain are boredom eating and portion control.*  Sitting at home all day was such a struggle for me!  Now that I am working from 10-2, I feel much better about my life and my eating.  I plan out my breakfast, lunch, and snacks each day until 2pm.  Aside from the occasional late night snacking, I feel much more in control of the boredom eating and WW helps with the portion control.  I’m hoping that when I become a full time working person, I will be able to quit WW altogether.

There are so many aspects of this and I don’t want to spend all of my time blogging about them, but today I will mention a few.  The responses different people have to my dieting are strange and the things they think are supportive are even stranger.   The fact that people even notice or care about my weight baffles me, actually.  I just want to feel healthy, happy, and in control of my own actions.  I’m not sure what that has to do with anyone else.  But the biggest thing I want to mention is that someone told me recently that they didn’t think my body type was designed to be very thin.  My goal was never to be thin, but I realized in that moment that part of me doesn’t believe I ever will be…  I’m not really sure how that makes me feel.

*I’m not addressing exercise in this post.  Perhaps in the future I will have more to say about that.

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